Bad Effing Dog, Carl

Okay, before getting started here, let's just make two things clear:

1. I am a dog lover. And if this picture is any kind of proof, DOGS LOVE ME BACK. Case closed. (Yes, I'm also aware that this picture is proof that white girls shouldn't wear keffiyehs if they don't want to look like dbags. moving on.)

2. Some Rottweilers are amazingly awesome and gentle and sweet lovely things. See: Carl.

Now that we've got that straight, let's talk about my walk home last night. So, la dee da, it's 10:30, I'm walking down 12th after a looong night of proctoring. I'm approaching the Cafe Press/Stumptown complex when I see a lovely little Rottie tied up to a pole outside. I'm a good three feet away at this point, because I'm not a fucking moron, people, I've lived with dogs all my life and I know you do NOT shove your schoz in the face of random dogs on the street. I say (because I talk to all dogs; I can't help myself), "Hey buddy, how are you?" His/her ears go back, I think "Wow, homes does not want to be touched," and proceed to walk by while saying goodnight to the pup. Apparently homes did not want to be spoken to either, because fucker LUNGED AT ME AND PUT MY ARM IN HIS MOUTH.

I then proceeded through a strange mental process that went (in my head, mostly; some shouted via text message) like this:

Me talking to dog: "Dude, why did you do that? That is not cool? Let's be friends man. Not cool!"

Me being very very thankful that this Rottie decided to bite ME and not some little kid and/or person afraid of animals. Maybe I'm just an asshole, but I can definitely tell the difference between an "I want to eat you" bite and an "I'm kinda freaked out so I'm gonna put my mouth on you so you'll go away" bite. This was the latter. Had this been anyone else, though, there's a good chance this could have ended up in a law suit and/or dead puppy.

Me being really fucking pissed off that this dog's dumbass owner has neither the sense to NOT TIE UP A DOG PRONE TO BITING STRANGERS ON A PUBLIC SIDEWALK; nor the time/brains to get to the bottom of this biting/being afraid of strangers shit. You know, I understand if you've got a dog for protection. That is cool. But don't put it on the sidewalk. And if this dog is just your fun let's-get-a-pet dog be a fucking responsible pet owner and get a handle on that shit. Talk to a trainer, whatever. IF YOUR DOG IS ANGRY AND AFRAID OF PEOPLE, THERE'S A REASON. Talk to anyone in my family; we had the border collie from hell who is now The Greatest Dog In the World.

Me being really freaked out because a ROTTWEILER FACE is not something you want to see lunging at your person. See:

Me feeling really slighted that this dog didn't like me. See: If your dog is angry, there's a reason, above. Dogs love me. I wasn't antagonizing this one. I promise. It just flat out, didn't like me. I take that personally, Rottie. Dogs love me. I love dogs. Sometimes more than people.

So, in conclusion, nothing was harmed (save my feelings) and I'm angry at irresponsible people. This is not news afterall.

And because I'm such a dog nerd, I have to say, again, that I'm not criticizing Rottweilers. Ever! They are awesome! If they are socialized and treated well and taken care of (like every other dog ever)! I'm not afraid of them! Just their idiot owners who give them a bad name!