Sucka punch!

So, I'm starting to believe that yesterday, instead of having my two grossly impacted wisdom teeth removed, I actually paid the oral surgeon $500 to sock me in the grill for an hour. Do my teeth and gums hurt? Not a bit. Does my jaw feel like it has been broken into a million pieces? Yes. Case closed.

Of course, I don't actually know what happened during that hour, under the influence of some amazing amnesic drugs. What I can tell you, however, is that I know I sat down in that chair listening to the latest "This American Life" and later found my ipod halfway through the Frightened Rabbit album. Obviously conscious sedation is no match for impeccable musical taste, suckas!

Other than being absolutely bored out of my brain and asymmetrically swollen-faced, I have no complaints. I just realized I CAN eat my favorite Ginger Cat cookies if I left them turn to mush in my mouth first. My day is made! Small victories!

Thumb vs. Mandoline: The Ultimate Slice

Top three shitty things about slicing your thumbprint off with your new mandoline:

1) It fucking hurts.  Oh, and it bleeds a LOT.  All over the place!    

2) Your solo-Sunday plans are shot to shit (finishing baby blanket, piano playing, etc.) and you are left to do nothing but hold your right hand over your head and watch Juno (again) and Northanger Abbey and try to do a crossword with your left hand (difficult).

3) Ambiguity over where piece of thumb actually ended up.  Possibly mixed in with delicious home-baked apple chips.

Top three awesome things about slicing your thumbprint off with your new mandoline:

1) Awesome story to tell next time you re-enter the U.S. and you have to stick your thumber on that DHS machine thing!  Identity, Schmidentity!

2) You are left to do nothing but hold your right hand over your head and watch Juno (again) and Northanger Abbey.

3) It almost makes you forget how much your TMJ hurts!

TODAY IS FUN!  

the apple chips are delish, though.