1/20/2008

Thumb vs. Mandoline: The Ultimate Slice

Top three shitty things about slicing your thumbprint off with your new mandoline:
1) It fucking hurts.  Oh, and it bleeds a LOT.  All over the place!    
2) Your solo-Sunday plans are shot to shit (finishing baby blanket, piano playing, etc.) and you are left to do nothing but hold your right hand over your head and watch Juno (again) and Northanger Abbey and try to do a crossword with your left hand (difficult).
3) Ambiguity over where piece of thumb actually ended up.  Possibly mixed in with delicious home-baked apple chips.
Top three awesome things about slicing your thumbprint off with your new mandoline:
1) Awesome story to tell next time you re-enter the U.S. and you have to stick your thumber on that DHS machine thing!  Identity, Schmidentity!
2) You are left to do nothing but hold your right hand over your head and watch Juno (again) and Northanger Abbey.
3) It almost makes you forget how much your TMJ hurts!
TODAY IS FUN!  
the apple chips are delish, though.

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